Overcooked Grits...

Tonight I watched a movie, The Express, that I anticipated to be Remember the Titans/Glory Road but applied to college football.  I would say that there are many similar threads but the main differentiating theme that stood out to me was the story of how one man can impact others with the combination of a good attidude, solid principles, and dogged work ethic.  In the film, Ernie Davis is a black running back in a mostly segregated world playing for a white team.  His goal was never to do things that portrayed him as a good "black" player but principally as a good player.  He knew his race, associations with it, and movements surrounding it, however he did more to uplift it through quiet perseverence leading humbly by example than most others had been able. He had impeccable character and skills of value, he didn't need to talk about what was right when he could live in such a way that he demonstrated it.  One verse that is read in the course of the story is from 1 Corinthians and really made me think, it is as follows:

1 Corinthians 15:10: 
"But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I labored more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me."

This verse resonates with me in a pretty cool way, it molds together and puts into perspective a lot of thoughts that I've had over the last 6 months.  I am in dental school at Tufts University which is incredibly competitive, essentially 3-4,000 people apply for 200 acceptances and like 300 interviews.  These are not dumb people, no one would apply to the school and throw away $60 if they were completely unqualified.  My point is not to say that on paper or in person that I was more deserving of being admitted, on the contrary it is to say that I feel like my name was randomly drawn out of a hat of qualified individuals and I was lucky enough to be interviewed.  At times I really feel entitled to be where I am and develop this fog of superiority that lasts for a while before it hits me that I'm a pompous prick.  Even looking at my qualifications, I had the good fortune to be raised in a home with both parents being active in my life after receiving post graduate education, enough money to worry about what book could I buy rather than what I would eat, and innate abilities that allow me to excel in school work.

I am at a point in life where I have been set up to graduate from a top dental school and be entrusted with the health and well being of society.  I will be entering a field that people are suffering immense amounts of pain and discomfort from not being able to access/afford my services or are not properly educated about preventative treatments and have a very low health IQ.  It's nothing smaller than the grace of God which has enabled me to be in this position and I have the cavalier audacity to think that I deserve this and all it entails?  My response should be centered on the latter half of the verse in that it is my responsibility to labor as hard as I possibly can to put the position which I have been entrusted with to good use.  I don't necessarily mean that I should have my face in a book more hours of the day, that's not what being a health care provider is about.  However, my life and the role it plays in others is dramatically different and lacking from I feel it is called to be.  The impact that I can have on others will occur more in the roles of listener, educator, mentor, and friend than merely a dental surgeon.  However all of those roles fall under the title of Doctor and it is one that I need not take for granted even though it has yet to be bestowed upon me.  My ability to really "be there" for people that I encounter obviously starts with the little things on an everyday basis but extends to my willingness to sacrifice parts of my life that have oozed  their way into a place of inflated importance.  It is also something that I'm sure can be improved a little by stictly focusing my efforts and energies on the task at hand but I need to lean on God for continued inspiration, determination, and encouragement as I try to put myself in the back seat.  I feel an impinging wave of remorse even now as I write this in anticipation of failing, I hate sounding the hypocrite and I know (and really have known) how I should conduct myself but so often find myself falling short of the ideal which always convinces me that it is more or less worthless to aim for perfection.  Anyhow, I am where I am due to good fortune and grace, I hope that I can figure out a way not to squander the opportunity of my sake but more importantly for society's.